your sight is a mirage for this thirst my tender tongue argues with lips.
my senses stonned & soul not sober for a realization that the joint I dragged was you.
the winter chill and the emptiness in my breath takes me to a forest of nilgiri wood.
mist smells of you and not those dry leaves on the path I walk. these insects moan & remind me of your heartbeats.
every step n every inch of my existence asks for a sign, a sunrise between the temple of your breasts.
a little warmth between your lips. that childhood amongst your fingers. the nights behind your ears n those glides on your shin. craziness does not stop in search of the childhood or a temple but triggers my senses. the joint I rolled, was that really you? but before I wake up I realize I am still in the forest of senses. come see it with me, it is beautiful.
the first time I came close to you I smelt your hair secretly. it filled up my heart like the fresh, tender smell of apricot. I tried to smell all possible shampoos for next few days but could not locate it. then one day I found myself between the streams of those entangled consciousness, with fingers I was taming my desires which were, at that moment, galloping through every pore. every fragment of my brittle clear heart was reflecting your flashes, your eyebrows & those teasing eyes.
I was sweating of melodious pain.
all was mixing with your untamed pulses.
I reached where my subconscious wanted to elevate me but there is more beyond, more facets and more depth. your hair are such. it smells different every time to hold my soul. I travel with my wit, lost & flattered, amused & astonished. I will travel n reveal more of self & soul.
you are the cosmos and i am a soul.
you are a forest and I am a leaf.
nothin can be separated, but I effortlessly try and entangled the strands from your hair because I just find it as beautiful as drawing lines on paper.
Last night I was in a dream. I walked into the room full of mirrors. Every where I looked I could see us. Greedily, gluttonously feasting satisfying then hungry then satiated. We were so consumed that I thought you would melt me into honey and suck me like a rivulet mind body n soul. In the mirror…
leaves have fallen down, lights are off and the sun will be up. mind still lies restless and relentless in the stream of my consciousness. it seeks a soft palm. curled fingers. smooth skin. translucent drapes and wet hair. to fill that cup with holy love from the mouth of most deserved. its my blood that needs mixture of your wine. they are my bones who need strength from your touch. before this sun is down and there are new leaves on the tree where you ll see me waiting. moments after moments. lives after lives. suns after suns. longing.
oh those sounds. do you remember O lover? cold winds through the window vents & dogs barking? your arms & breasts clinging on to my brown skin, your fingers running through my chaotic forest of hairy chest like white noise? smell of burnt cigarettes and the cell phone alarm of 10:00am? sharing dreams and waking up smiling lookin at each others eyes & naked? today after so many hours have past, I lie alone on the same bed with the blanket and my forest empty. this pillow is making noise now. random words in the cold air like the smell of burnt cigarettes. so m gonna eat a Paan and remember your stories as if you are here and narrating em to me, shivering & spitting, lookin at that lonely tungsten light.
hope you are at least dreaming about it, our shadows and the candle light in some corner of this world.
when I dipped my fingers in that bucket filled with water, it was warm. I took my fingers out & they were Orange. I opened my eyes after a while I saw this beauty in an royal burnt Orange Saree, lookin at me with those tiger yellow eyes. eyes upon eyes, my heart experience a vertigo & my body was like a helium baloon about to scuba dive. for that moment all the stars rotated around me and we were the cosmos. we were the only souls wandering & gazing, counting each others lashes. climbing upon the peaks of our desires & love, surfing between waves of our heartbeats. gushing through our nerves system, were our musical words praising each other for crossing and leaping practical limitations.
those heavy breaths were not heavier than cotton & silk on our bodies. we lightened our burden but who would lighten our breaths. there were no boundaries and barricades but just a small bed made out of arms and love. royal burnt orange was the blanket in which we hide ourselves and sleep. like that bucket of water, looks cold when you see it from a distance and is actually warm when you dip your fingers in it. a pune winter short story.
Distance bet two souls is zero. Distance between two bodies is immense. Patterns of souls can be best depicted through generative art. a movement on the visible area can symbolize us. the backend is the universal program of how nature has scripted us, made us evolve for today and realize how to love each other.